does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize