these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
