i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
