What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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