I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
