but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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