I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
