On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize