Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
