That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
