Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
