just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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