Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
