did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
