I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
