he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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