closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize