I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Randomize
