I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
