well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We don't watch enough power rangers
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
