I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
