No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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