you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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