I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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