Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
