Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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