You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
