the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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