Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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