he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
