Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
