She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
