shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
