So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
