I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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