i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My bed smells like the plague
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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