Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
