is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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