Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
