I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
