Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
