my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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