he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
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