she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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