we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
