I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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