that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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