I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
