everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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