Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
