my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
