If i come over, it means nothing
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
