I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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