I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
