just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
