I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
