I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
