nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Do vagina's smell?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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