Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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