how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
