wakey wakey hands off snakey
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Randomize
